Nigerian Weddings🤵👰

“Excuse me?? We’re the bride’s mother’s aunties! We can’t sit at the back o!👺👺” Oh my!😂😂 It doesn’t have to exactly be this line but there’s always one drama or the other at a Nigerian wedding 😂. Hi, you’re welcome back to my blog🤗… Should’ve posted this earlier but I’ve got a number of things going on in this my small head but anyways, that’s by the way🤧. Trust me when I say the number of weddings I’ve been to so far,is equivalent to earning a PhD degree twice!- yes,I said twice 😂. So I’ve successfully gathered typical Nigerian wedding markers for this post. When you see these things,you can be 101% sure you’re at a Nigerian wedding😂.

Right from the gate of the event center, you’ll begin to see glamorous styles of Aso Ebi🤤 (even the ones your tailor said couldn’t be sown😤 ) Aso Ebi means ‘Family clothes’ in Yoruba. People start pairing up from outside to greet one another and plan to sit together.

Inside the hall is where the drama begins full time 😂. Even the person the bride met just two days before the wedding will want to sit in front claiming to know the bride 🤷. This thing in particular is very annoying 😡 if y’all don’t want to sit at the back so who will??? The couple’s ancestors??? Lesson one says, sitting at the back doesn’t mean that you’re not important. Think of if too;is it possible for every table to be in front? Of course not! So sit your ass down when you’re directed somewhere by an usher🙄.. afterall you’re not the one getting married 😑.

Eventually the guests agree to sit. And then they flip out their phones. Snapchat,IG and WhatsApp won’t rest today 💁..all this glow can’t go to waste please 💆 (this is a major reason people ladies 🙂 go for weddings- better still,owambe😌💅)… We go to pepper them, right?🥵

There’s always a standby DJ mixing songs just the way we love it 😩 🤤. It’s very okay to nod your head and move your feet on your seat. But it’s better to hit the dancefloor when it’s time to😩 💃. This is when you see rich Daddies, Mummies, Uncles and Aunties coming to spray people money 🥺. As sweet as this part is, I’m always pained…because I can’t dance 🥺. The main aim is to be enjoy the music, dance out your sorrows and of course cash out on the dance floor🤑😂.

Food!!!!😂😂 I won’t say this is the main reason we go for weddings 😂 but deep down….you know the rest 😂😂. This party rice, like it’s fondly called,can bring out the ugliest part of a man😂. Imagine if servers keep taking trays of food past your table and you’re like “is my table invisible??👺👺” If I went to a wedding and I didn’t eat,no matter how beautiful the hall or the couple were,if you asked me how it was, I’d tell you it didn’t make sense 🙂.Despite that some tables haven’t gotten food,there will always that one table where plates always disappear 🤦. “Three people have not gotten food here o!”. “You’ve not served us here nau!👺👺” They’re never complete 🤦. So how do they take care of dirty plates that the servers never find out?! They put the plates under the table. You probably never knew🙂… you’re welcome 😂.

Fine guysss 💫🤤😂. I’ve said this before and I’m saying it again,guys look their best in native attires😭 no argument! The girls also look very good- you know,make up on fleek,the heels, the hair… forget! Nobody comes to play at a Nigerian wedding o😂. We all know we ladies like to add attachments 😒 but you see these guys😩,they just always slay effortlessly🥺♥️. Now that’s one thing you can never miss at a Nigerian wedding.

Souvenirs are also very important at our weddings 😌. No matter how little, something will definitely be shared. The beautiful part of Nigerians is this- regardless of how little the souvenir is,we always appreciate it💆 and we don’t joke with it!👺 It must reach our side!👺😂.

I’ll conclude by saying that we should cultivate the habit of giving gifts at weddings. I noticed that very few people have the understanding of giving gifts to couples and that’s honestly not good enough. “But I already bought the Aso Ebi nau,abeg that’s enough gift!👺I know 💁. If you didn’t know this before, know it now- A wedding gift is like a physical representation of your blessing to the couple’s marriage. Lesson two says ‘Gifts are very important’.

Thank you for reading! I love you ♥️♥️. Please park your car at the comment section and drop something(nobody treks on this street 💁) you should like it too,thank you as you do so. Stay safe♥️,peace out!✌️

Take Charge of Your Money 😎

Hiya!🙋 How have you been? I’ve been good,thanks for asking 🙂 I heard your inner voice 😂.

There are some things that happen to us when we least expect them and they hit us so bad we feel like falling (some of us actually fall😹)…. just like the lockdown now is unexpected😓💔. I want to talk about the monetary aspect of the unexpected situations that has,at one point or the other, happened to everyone of us. I’m not a financial expert(maybe not yet😂) but I learnt some tips from Arese Ugwu’s book and I hope to put them into practise after the pandemic ends. The book is titled ‘The Smart Money Woman’ ,it revolves around the life of a young Nigerian lady who stays in Lagos and her journey to financial freedom. The book did improve my view on money matters and I also learnt a number of healthy money habits; some of which I’ll be sharing in this post🙃.

1)Track Your Spendings: Who would have thought this was useful?😏 Get money and spend it please, afterall that’s what money is meant for💁. Okay,wait😂 You’re wrong! I was too, until I found the truth. By tracking your spendings, I mean that you should be able to pinpoint what you spend on and no careless spending. This can only be possible when you’re consistent in reviewing your income and expenses. Could be once in a week or in two weeks whichever one works for you. All hail the queen of careless spending 👸…. that’s me😂 but not anymore💆. We’re keeping track of our money now💪.

2) Have an Emergency Fund: In the course of last semester,I misplaced my purse. It had all my means of identification,debit card and all my money!🤯. But! I had an emergency fund 🙂. I didn’t know it as that then,it was just some money I put aside for future purposes only for me to find out that the future was right around the corner 😹😹. I couldn’t call home that moment for some reasons. All I did was to fall back on my emergency fund. How to get this? It could be the unexpected money you get from your dad’s friend, family members or extra money for doing something. Leave it aside and you’ll see it come through for you like 911 just when you need it.

3)Save to Build Don’t Save to Spend: Now here’s where we all get it wrong..even me 🥺. A time I decided to save,I got a bottle,put in a certain amount everyday for about two months. Then I came across this nice biscuit (evil biscuit) that took away all my savings. What I did wasn’t savings. I only postponed the spending of my money 😭😂. Saving to build means saving to invest,it means saving to achieve a short/long-term goal. It’s a type of savings that gives you tangible results not biscuit nylons, like in my case😩😂.

All those mistakes are in the past now because I have a clearer view about money now😎. As a result of not being selfish,I’m sharing it with you too😌. By the way,if you’d like to get a PDF copy of the book, ‘The Smart Money Woman’ ,you can send a DM. My contact’s at the end of this page.

Thank you for reading this too and don’t forget to drop by at the comment section 🙃. I love you and remember to stay safe🤗🌹♥️

Business Ethics 101👩

 

     Wazzzzup people! I dislike this greeting beht I’m using it anyways🥴😂. Trust you’ve been good🙃. And I must say that the air on WordPress feels like I’m in the abroad 🙂😹😹😹. Well, what I have to say today will digress a little from humor because some business owners need to learn the ethics of business👺! You try to patronize some people and you get treated as if it’s stone you’ll give them instead of money🤦. But I think this generation is getting better sha,thank goodness. Nevertheless, there’s something to learn. I’ll share two encounters I’ve had with two shop owners and round the post up:

1)Mama Shopleft😂: This woman is our next door neighbor and has a shop. That was the name we gave her at home😂😂. I think she opened the shop only to see people’s faces…not with the aim of profit making😑 because this is the only person I know that’ll be asking you who you are before selling to you nd I’m like “does my name matter here??!! Just gimme what I want nd lemme go🙄”. Customers will come and she’ll tell them that she’s busy, they should come back….on top my money 😂😂😂. The day she told me this was the last day I bought from her🙂. I now get my things somewhere else not minding the distance.
   In any business, you’re expected to be at your ‘A’ game when it comes to relating with customers. Your focus should be on making your customers get the best experience from your business. If I’m patronizing your business and you’re behaving like I’m bothering you,haq imma move right on bro/sis😴😴.

2)Akara Woman: This woman is 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦 very annoying somebody 😂. She sells Akara and fried yam in school and to be truthful,her fries hit differently 🤤. This day,I and Temi with about 2 other people were waiting to buy yam and this woman said it was Akara she wanted to fry😑 Ahan! Who does that???😠😠… “I’m starving, nobody is waiting here for Akara and that is what you want to fry??? Woman, really???👺👺👺” Funny thing is, she’s fully aware that they sell fried yam just a stone throw from her place but no. Her village people inspired her to fry Akara🙂🙂.
    Customer priority means that you put the needs and requirements of a customer ahead of anything and everything else. This works like magic because people will come to you when they know that you have what they need. You’re in a student environment and you say the spirit is leading you to sell baby things (shoes, clothes, diapers) my dear, that’s village people’s voice 😹😹😹. Who are they supposed to buy for?? Their unborn children? C’mon nau😂😂😂…be innovative,sell what the people around you need now don’t be like this Akara woman please 😂.

      I’ve come to the end of today’s post. Thank you for reading 🙃♥️♥️. Click the like button (we have that now😌) and please drop your comments, thank youuu💫♥️.

Creative Lie🙂🙂

     Growing up was funny –not when I was living in that moment though because there were storey buildings of tears then 😂– Cut! Hello🙋, it’s always a pleasure to have you here😌. Action! Those times are funny now because it’s easy to sit in a chair, stretch your legs and reminisce about them😴. If it was possible, I’d go back in time to tell my little self, “eat well and don’t waste food because it won’t pay you😩”. Meet me;the girl that would take food to school,get a black nylon and throw it away when I didn’t want it🙂. I never had to think twice about doing this💁…how do we say it again? na norms 😂😂(it’s a normal thing).
     On this wonderful day I want to tell you about,I gladly fought for extra slices of yam at home to take to school. “Put the yam nah, I’ll finish it!😾 Just put it!😾” My mum put the yam anyway nd I happily put my flask in my bag. “Oshey, break time aff set in school today” . I honestly can’t recall the events of that day (I must have been playing around 🤦) but one thing I remember is that I ended up not eating that food💔🥺; but no problem- all I needed was a nylon and this would be solved. Got a black nylon,put the slices of yam inside,slept off in the car and forgot to throw it out. Haq,that was God working out my day of beating chronologically 😂😂. Funny thing is,my mum never goes through my bag but this particular day,the spirit directed her to check my bag. Behold brethren,she felt the yam in the nylon 🙂🙂🙂.
         “What’s this inside nylon?”
          “Mummy, it’s wood”
 WHAT??????? Sheyi, what did you just say????😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Ahan! So much creativity 😂😂….. No! that was an epic lie😭😭,kent believe I said this 😂. It’s just really dumb💔🤦.. what does a primary school student need wood for inside black nylon??😂😂😂 Trust a Nigerian mother nau, she’ll open it up to see the wood🙂. Lol,for it was a glorious night 😹.. I’m sure the beating many of you got in 5 years was what I got on a silver platter that night 😂😂😂.
  Below is a meme of how I was throughout the rest of that night..
I was mapping out all the possible ways to start a new life😂😂….but look at me, I have nowhere to run to …I’m still here😹 😹. 
      Thank you for reading 🌹. Your comments are welcome too🙃♥️

Library experience 😴

    When it was getting close to exam period at the previous semester,I tried to bring out the serious part of me because I really needed my GP (Grade Point not Gross Profit 🙂) to rise and by wanting that,I had to add yeast. Guess what my yeast was? Yes! Reading. Don’t worry, I haven’t lost my manners 😹…hi, how are you doing? Trust you’ve been good.

    However,I couldn’t read in my hostel so I went to Kenneth Dike library for some days with my roommate (Blessing) and my bro 🥵♥️(her name is Temi, I’ll tell you about her someday). Well well this particular day,we came together after reading apart (reading together is never advisable 😹. Here’s why; it’s that time we’re together that we’ll see the strangest of the strangest things and start analysing and laughing😹– but I needed YEAST so we needed to spread). While we were brushing up our readings and having a little chat,there was this guy opposite us that just kept making faces that made it so obvious that we were disturbing him🙄. Okay right,we were in the library, decorum is needed there but we were not even loud enough to disturb him (maybe we were actually disturbing him sha) So we lowered our voices to make him less uncomfortable. Haq,the next time we looked up,this guy must have gotten to his hometown in his sleep😩…he was fast asleep 😂 “Bro,so it’s sleep you even wanted to sleep 😑, you’re so unbelievable 🤦” . He dinur even put his head on the desk- hey,he rested his head on the chair (like that picture above) with his mouth open😭😭. Ahan! no drop of shame in you??😩😩. I’ve slept in the library too but not this way and not especially when I was trying to prove to some people that I was seriously reading and they were disturbing 🤦.  I’m sure he must have been snoring sef but we were too carried away with our laughter to hear it 😂. Forget,that day was wayyy too funny.
    What’s most important right now sha are my scripts. There’s lockdown coupled with ASUU strike so our scripts must have been pushed aside. What I know is that no lecturer should even try to lay hand on my script when in a bad mood,I don’t want my grades looking sad..all that yeast mustn’t go down the drain just like that😩. If you also wrote exams before the lockdown,I believe you did your part well enough for God to settle the rest…so you’ll be fine🤗.
    By the wayyyy,one of the comments I got on my first post says I should talk about the evils things I did too😹😹😹….no nau 😹😹, I’m not evil….at least not anymore 🙂. Used to be super mean actually 😂. I’ll gist you laterrr.
    I’ve come to the end of this post,thank you for reading and remember to stay safe ♥️♥️. Comments are welcome…🙃

An Imagined Anger 💔😹

      When your network provider and light decide to come together and turn their backs on you,just accept that there’s absolutely nothing you can do 😑. Oh hi there! You’re here again and it’s good to have you back🙃♥️. So in the past two to three days of no light (even when there happened to be light,the network here was terrible), I’ve been listening to the radio 🙂. I think the Radio is actually a great place where you can get updated on everything that needs to get updated without having to spend anything (data🙂);local, international and entertainment news,music,sport,gists,Amebo, opinions- just name it! 

     One of those long nights,I was listening to my favorite stations (that’s because they are on air 24/7…that’s super cool😴) and the DJ was giving me nice songs until he got me angry. How? This guy was playing a song that says “it’s time to party” ….. sounded like a good song,I liked the lyrics. Then suddenly, this guy mixed the song with Fireboy’s ‘Scatter’…. BRO!!! WHY YOU GOTTA DO THAT??!!!!👺👺👺… I’m not an angry person 😂,it was my own imagination that got me angry. I imagined having a DJ at my party and the DJ actually doing that. Haq,..haqhaq,my words kent even express what imma do😹😹😹😹. Oh wait- I’m a lover of Fireboy DML nd I particularly like the ‘Party scatter’ song bhet that’s from my phone to my ears not at an actual party😂😂😂…imma  shine for the DJ straight up. And the party will literally scatter 🙂. More like the mixing be revealing your thoughts towards my party 👺. 
     By the wayyyy, shout-out to Fireboy DML (saw his interview with Ebuka on ‘Rubbing minds’ and I figured he loves the DML being added to his name… you’re welcome 😌) He might not see this now but I hope he does, someday 🥺. You might be interested in these as well:

-Fireboy’s real name is Adedamola Adefolahan and he’s from Ogun State
-He is 24 (I think that’s young enough to be getting it)
-He studied English at OAU (Wow! That’s….just wow!😹  Maybe I’m not entirely surprised though. But I must say the way he effortless moves from English to Yoruba in his lyrics is lovable 🤤)
-I said earlier that he likes the ‘DML’ and it means Damola (I’ve always liked that name. Maybe that’s why I like him🙂)
-He calls his female fans Firegirls (This is me admitting that I’m a firegirl🥵)
       To wrap this up,I see him as a chill guy. Every interview of him I’ve seen has been calm, picks his words rightly…. he’s just lovable ♥️. OMG,this is pretty long🥺 I just had to put something up. It’s been long,I miss this place.
    Thanks for reading. Drop your comments ♥️

Survival in a Cab😤

     Heyo! Before I even start,I want to beg you. Please and please,if you’ve not added ‘Get my own car’ to the list of things you need to get done, please go and do that right away 🙏. Trust me, it’s for your own good. Because some things be happening in these public transports that just make you wanna get down and trekk to your destination, really 🤦. Bike,cab,bus, tricycle🚲🚗🚐_ I’ve taken all and there’s an experience attached to each– hold up! I said experience?? I mean experiences,I gotta make this bold- EXPERIENCES Now,I feel better 🙂. This particular one is a cab experience, although happened before they started locking us at home buh I go😑😑😑 any time I think of it.

     I always target sitting at the window side in cabs but in a way,I mostly end up in the middle😒. And it’s never a nice thing 🤦. If it’s not someone looking into your phone, it’ll be someone giving you their opinion (that you didn’t even ask for🙄). Or if it’s not someone taking more space than they should, it’ll be someone digging for gold😩. And that’s what this is about, digging for gold!.  So I got into the cab this day (sat in the middle again), and there were two guys by my side👨‍👨‍👧. They both looked responsible ,“Thank goodness! This is looking like a peaceful,drama-free journey to me💆” I said to myself. That was how the guy by my right put his finger in his nose. “Nooo! You didn’t just do that bro😭”… It’s totally okay to pick your nose (I know it’s a bad habit nd we all have our bad habits Soo….💁), buh please do it in your private place. Y’all,this young man was legit picking that nose like he was digging for his transport fare there. It was a disgusting sight,I tell you🤦.  Well, he was digging for gold in his own nose.. that was something I couldn’t do anything about. But one sure thing I could do for myself was to avoid collecting his money as my change because my guy was holding #50 while I had #100. I got a different money as change and the joy I had in me knew no bound🥺. Got home that day,and shared the story of how I overcame😓.

        Thanks for reading 🌹. Ride to the comment section to share your thoughts ♥️

Song Lyrics Gone Wrong 🥺

    I want to share an experience. First you need to know that I have lovely parents,fr… they’ve annoyed me, frustrated me, scolded me,beaten me and what stands out is that they make me laugh 😹. Many attimes,I like to sit and listen to their conversations and they just always say something funny 😂. So well,at every stage of my life,I always have a jotter where I pen down quite a lot of things- school note,how my day went,song lyrics, gossip about someone (to myself 🙂)- all sort of weird thing, really 😂.

   Here’s the gist,when I was in JSS 3 or thereabout,I dropped this jotter on the dining table nd totally forgot it there. I didn’t even know, I was just doing my thing nd next thing I heard was “Sheyi! Sheyi!! Come here!”  There’s a way your dad will call you that’ll make you prepare your mind that something’s about to hit you 😂.  I already knew that as I was going,my egungun was on the way to be hit by a trailer 😩.  Apparently,he had opened the jotter nd flipped through nd the first thing that caught his attention was Angel and Wizkid’s ‘Blown Away’  song lyrics (very nice song). “Is this what you’re doing with your time?? It’s a boy you’re thinking of, instead of reading your book…..” “Buh these guys were singing for a girl,I only like the rhythm abi what’s my own? I didn’t join them to compose this sir😑😑” No italics please, because these things were in my head…of course, our replies always reside there 😂. Buh I felt so bad that day 🥺 because I got a 3-course-lecture on even the ones that were not related to the origin of the scolding 😑. Haq😹 my mum gave me her own 7-course-Tedtalk…I don’t even want to go down that lane 😩. 

    All that is in the past now though😁. It’s a higher level of scolding now because I’m expected to know more than my head can contain😹. Buh no lies, I’m grateful for those times; it shaped me🙂. 
    
Thank you for reading 🥺🌹. Don’t forget your comments are welcome in the comment section ♥️

An hour of Freedom😂

Hello world!🌍 Glad to have you back. A lot of mumuring has been going on on social media about being locked in the house 😤,caged in the house 🤦 blah and blah. So I tried imagining what would actually happen if some of y’all got an hour to be set free.I hit the street… WhatsApp street😹,to see where people would go and arrived at this compilation…

VOX POP: IF YOU HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO GO OUT FOR AN HOUR,NOW THAT YOU’RE LOCKED INDOORS, WHERE WOULD YOU GO/WHAT WOULD YOU DO? 
RESPONSE 1: Go to the market 🥴…And buy foodstuffs,😂😂😂😂man must survive
RESPONSE 2: To be honest,I wouldn’t go anywhere only if Corona is totally out because I understand the importance of staying indoors. I don’t see why I should go out when the order’s to maintain social distancing,is it animals I want to go and play with?? That’s not what we need right now but if I really have to go out, I’d go to the beach. Feel the water,have fun with family and friends and just relax. We all need that serenity.
RESPONSE 3: To the mall and a bookstore📚. Have fun,shop for junks and get myself some really interesting books to last me through the days of boredom. 
RESPONSE 4: I would like to go see my babe 😇
RESPONSE 5: Lmaooooooooooo
My room,sleeping🙂
That’s my daily routine Even before the lockdown shiu
    Nice responses😹 As I’m not a lover of lengthy posts, responses will be limited to 5… my aim is not to bore you 😂. So here’s what I would do; I would go to the cinema. I know I might not be able to see a complete movie in an hour but I don’t mind…any time my one hour expires,just take me away 😭 because movies at the Cinema hit differently compared to watching them on your phones,tbh😑. 
       So you have the floor- please hit the comment section to share your thoughts,let me know what you would do in an hour of freedom. If you read to this point,thank you ♥️ remember to wash your hands and stay safe♥️.

Welcome on Board🤹

      Hey! What’s up! How are you doing?? How’s lockdown going for you?? -Okayy! too many questions 😂. You are welcome if it’s your first time here buh clearly it’s everyone’s first time so welcome y’all!!!. Well now,everyone’s at home..making us all equal 🙂 makes me wanna visit many people unannounced nd see what you actually look like in your default setting 😹😹…I don’t look too good myself so it’s fine 💁. “Sheyi, what exactly is this about??😑”   Relax bro, it’s about us. Both of us 🙃. A whole lot goes on around us and I just thought it was okay to share my own experiences in the funniest term I can put them (I don’t want to be too serious 🙂…. I’m not your online parent so I have no right to be😹). Certainly, no man is an island of knowledge so we get to learn from one another. You get? That’s basically what all of this is about 😌 so I look forward to your cooperation because I kent do this alone 🥺.

   One last thing before I call it a post; It’s the first publication and your reaction to this goes a long way in determining how far this goes. Thank you for your time,Danke🌹.
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